Valentine’s Day Classroom Parties: Safety and Inclusion Tips

Shoeboxes covered with crinkled aluminum foil and construction-paper hearts, Snoopy cards signed in messy first-grade printing and cupcakes adorned with gloppy red frosting. These items, once de rigueur in grade-school Valentine’s parties, are now much less common. There are several reasons why districts have eliminated classroom Valentine’s Day parties all together or, at the very least, have modified how the holiday is celebrated at school:

• One reason is the disruption any holiday celebration can cause. As teachers know all too well, an hour-long party frequently disrupts more than 60 minutes of the school day; kids are also distracted before and after the event.
• Another reason is children’s food allergies. Even if a parent brings in homemade food whose recipe seems safe, its container or serving utensil may have been contaminated with an allergen. “Even a small trace of the allergen can cause a reaction,” warns Lindsay Duncan of Forkly.com.
• And finally, inclusion can be an issue. Some students’ religious beliefs may not allow them to celebrate certain holidays. Some students can’t afford to purchase Valentine’s Day cards for their classmates. Some students may not wish to give cards to classmates they don’t like, which hurts those children’s feelings. And some students who have been bullied may understandably not wish to give cards to their bullies.

Food Allergies and Valentine’s Day Classroom Parties

In the United States, 5.6-million children have food allergies; that equates to one of every 13 children. “On average, two children in each classroom of a school likely have a food allergy,” reports April Clark, a registered dietitian with the Food Allergy Center at Children’s Health℠. According to the Mayo Clinic, the most common food allergens are milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, soy and wheat.

The Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) organization suggests that, prior to hosting a classroom holiday party, your teachers communicate with students and parents about how important it is to celebrate in a way that ensures the safety and inclusion of all children — including those with food allergies. In fact, teachers may want to send home a list of common allergens and advise parents that only pre-packaged, clearly labeled foods that contain no common allergens are allowed.

FARE also recommends that young children be taught to read food labels — and/or ask a trusted adult to do so on their behalf — because many candies, including Snickers and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, contain common allergens. In addition, educators and parents should teach kids to decline unsafe food politely.

Kids with Food Allergies (KFA) warns, “Valentine’s Day candies may look similar but can be different from the regular version of the same candy. Different sizes of the same candy may have different ingredients or advisory labels. Seasonal candies may be processed in different facilities than regular versions. Individual candies packaged in bulk may have different label information or may not have ingredients labeled.” And candies labeled “allergy-free” or “school safe” may still contain allergens.

Because serving food at a classroom party can be such a minefield, your district may opt to eliminate edible party treats all together. If so, encourage parents to distribute party favors instead. For example, your teachers may ask parent volunteers to supply:

• Crayons, markers or pencils;
• Erasers;
• Stamps;
• Stickers;
• Fidget toys;
• Bouncy balls;
• Bubbles;
• Slime;
• Small pieces of costume jewelry; or
• Other small prizes.

For other ideas, check out our blog, Allergy-Free Holiday Classroom Parties: Tips for Admins and Teachers.

Valentine’s Cards and Inclusion

If your teachers host Valentine’s parties where students will distribute cards to one another, Randy Mazella of SheKnows.com recommends that participation be optional. “No child should be forced to give or receive cards if it makes them feel uncomfortable. But if a child does decide to distribute cards, they need to be prepared to give one to every classmate who is comfortable receiving one,” she says.

Amanda Morin of VeryWellFamily.com concurs: “Giving cards to everyone is the best way to avoid hurt feelings.” When families can’t afford to buy cards, there are several possible solutions. “In my years of teaching, I always had parents who sent in their children’s leftover cards ‘just in case,’” Morin continues. “Many teachers are bargain shoppers and pick up boxes of Valentine’s Day cards on clearance every year to stow away for just such situations. Or [a] teacher may be able to send home the materials to create homemade cards. Another option is to print Valentine’s Day cards from online resources.”

That said, if a student has been bullied and doesn’t feel comfortable interacting with their bullies, they should not be forced to do so. “It’s an issue that needs to be dealt with using the parents’ and teachers’ best judgment,” Mazella says.

Nontraditional Ways of Celebrating Valentine’s Day

Many schools still celebrate Valentine’s Day in their classrooms, but now do so in new, innovative ways.

Appreciation Day

Some teachers host an Appreciation Day where they encourage students to express gratitude, rather than love. Dr. Maurice Elias, professor of psychology at Rutgers University, says that by simply readjusting the Valentine’s Day’s mission, “It can be an opportunity for students to show appreciation to support staff — secretarial, janitorial, security, kitchen, grounds crew, transportation.”

Teachers can also assign activities that allow students to express gratitude for their family members and/or their fellow students. For example, kids can create “appreciation chains” for their classmates.

Mazella explains how an appreciation chain works: “[A teacher passes] each student the name of a few others in the class on a piece of paper and [has] them write down something they appreciate about each person they received…[focusing] on qualities like kindness and bravery, rather than anything physical. Later on, when the students have moved on to something else, [the instructor surprises] them by giving them the slips of paper where their classmates have written their appreciation for them.” The activity can even be tied into the curriculum. For instance, if students are learning about parts of, the teacher could ask them to use kindness-themed adjectives in their descriptions.

Self-Esteem Day

Instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day by focusing on what students love about other people, some teachers use the holiday to have kids focus on what they love about themselves mentally, physically and emotionally. For example:

• TeachersPayTeachers.com suggests teachers assign the writing prompts “I love that I can…,” “I love that I am…” and “I love that I have…” For each prompt, students must list five things.
• TheSocialEmotionalTeacher.com suggests teachers read students sample love letters and love poems, and then ask students to write love letters to themselves.
• Jeremy Sutton, Ph.D., of PositivePsychology.com recommends teachers ask students to keep a self-love journal. As they journal, kids should reflect on their strengths and celebrate their successes and achievements, large or small.

Friendship Day

The goal of Friendship Day is to encourage students to “be good to their friends and talk about caring and sharing,” says Ericka Sóuter of CafeMom.com. Schools “still acknowledge that it is Valentine’s Day…but they make the day about recognizing each other as friends and how we should treat our friends.” Teachers can assign writing prompts such as:

• What qualities make a good friend?
• How alike are you and your friends?
• What have you learned from your friends?
• Do you have any unlikely friendships?
• How do you react when your friendships change?

Assign Standards-Based Valentine’s-Themed Work

Instead of having a themed day, per se, “the easiest way [for your teachers] to incorporate Valentine’s Day into the classroom is to keep it standards-based and in line with what [they] do from day to day,” reports EndeavorsInEducation.com. For example:

• Instructors can improve students’ reading and comprehension by assigning Valentine’s Day-themed books, such as A Crankenstein Valentine, Roses Are Pink, Your Feet Really Stink,  The Biggest Valentine Ever and Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch.
• STEMActivitiesForKids.com suggests teachers use small, chalky, conversation-heart candies in an array of STEM-themed activities. One idea involves having kids build a wall using the hearts.
• Lindie Johnson of NovakEducation.com recommends having students use visual media. For example, students can create an animated video or comic book that celebrates love and kindness.
• Johnson also recommends using Valentine’s Day as a way for students to bring their cultural experiences and traditions into the classroom. She suggests having kids interview their caretakers or grandparents, perform songs or draw images that have meaning to them.

General Principles to Follow

Regardless of how teachers in your district celebrate Valentine’s Day in their classroom, remind them to do so in a way that makes their students feel comfortable, safe and respected.

Daisy Rogozinsky of Study.com states that teachers “should not require anything of students when it comes to participating in…Valentine’s Day activities. If a student has any reason why they don’t want to be involved, give them something else unrelated that they can work on, on their own, during that time.”